Craving Control: Holiday Feasting Without Guilt
Welcome to the Counter Culture Health podcast. I'm doctor Jen McWaters. And I'm coach Kaitlin Reed. We're here to help high achieving women overcome mental blocks, find freedom from anxiety, create an abundant life, and build the body and life that they deserve and desire. In this weekly podcast, we'll uncover the raw truth about mental health, nutrition, fitness, and beyond. Let's get to it.
Jen:Welcome back to counterculture health. Today, we are going to do a holiday specific episode since this will be releasing right before Thanksgiving. And Kaitlin and I both have, lots of experience with clients struggling around the holidays for different reasons, whether it is the stress piece of it, expectations piece of it, food, relationships. Today, we're gonna focus on food and managing all the different things, urges, feelings, emotions, challenges that come with food around the holiday season. So I'm gonna hand this over to Kaitlin. She is going to guide us through this topic today.
Kaitlin:Yes. Very important topic to cover, I feel like, because this is when people tend to struggle the most with their nutrition and kind of fall into that on or off or all or nothing thinking and mentality with, their food and their, their goals and their approach to things. And, it's it's important to kind of have a a grasp on this because this is the time of the year where food is always around. It's everything we do this time of year revolves around it, and, like, that food noise is kind of the loudest this time of year. So today, we're gonna try to talk about cravings, why they happen, how to navigate them, and how to be in control of your cravings rather than your cravings controlling you.
Kaitlin:Okay. I first wanna start off with, kinda defining cravings, which is like an intense desire for something, and it's very different than hunger. So there's there's big difference between these 2, hunger and cravings, and cravings can happen for a variety of reasons. I think one of the I don't know. I would say the I think one of the biggest things is, like, emotional triggers for most people too, and that can be boredom, stress, celebrating, can really lead to intense cravings.
Kaitlin:Something else that I've really found with people is that it's their body trying to tell them something. So they could be lacking something. You know, they're they're nutrient deficient in something. They're just not eating enough during the day. Their macronutrients are not balanced.
Kaitlin:Specifically, protein could be lacking, and this can lead to intense cravings because you're just not getting enough of what you need, and your body's trying to tell you that. Another reason could be it's just part of your habitual patterns in your routines that you have that you've established. They're just kind of mindless, automatic. It's just what you do, kind of on autopilot, and that could be things like, always snacking or feeling like you need something sweet after a meal, always needing the dessert, and that's just something that you've always done and continue to do kind of without thinking about it at all. And we kinda touched on this a little bit earlier of restrictive dieting.
Kaitlin:So if you're over restricting yourself or putting out entire food groups or going super low calorie or telling yourself that you can't have something. This leads to intense cravings as well, and I always tell people what you restrict or label as bad or put off limits, you crave and desire even more. So that saying no makes that urge even bigger. So it's really important to just kind of view foods as neutral rather than labeling them as good or bad or I can or I can't. Mhmm.
Kaitlin:Mhmm.
Jen:I agree with that. A lot of it, it's the psychological component to it and all of the feelings and things we attach to food, and that is just our judgments about it versus just treating it like a source of fuel, treating it neutrally. I'm a huge fan of that philosophy as well.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Yeah. So what do we do with these cravings? How can we kinda deal with them? And the first thing is to bring awareness to them and kind of get curious about them rather than being judgmental about them, or ignoring them or suppressing them.
Kaitlin:So number 1, the biggest thing is to make sure you're getting your body enough of what it needs. And, typically, people are always feeling like they are grazing or always need a snack or something, it's a pretty good sign that they're not eating enough or their meals are they're not large enough and they're not balanced, you know, not including all the macronutrients that they need, which leads to the next one of, I like to call, create your plate. Making sure you're having a protein, a carb, and a healthy fat with every single meal that you're having so that you do feel full and satiated and getting everything that you need in one meal, so you're not lacking in something. Because as you know
Jen:Can I ask you a question really quick there?
Kaitlin:Yes.
Jen:I know sometimes there is a tendency or a trend for people to almost deprive themselves or restrict before a big meal. So what are the pros and cons of that? Because I know people say, like, I'm saving room for Thanksgiving dinner, so they'll skip lunch, for example.
Kaitlin:Mhmm.
Jen:What what does that do to us as far as cravings in our body and all of that?
Kaitlin:Yeah. I never recommend that ever, because that tends to I mean, you're overhungry by the time you get to that point. So then that often leads to, overeating, eating more than what you're used to, and then you're uncomfortable, and then there's, you know, these cascade effects behind that. So if you eat normal leading up to this, you're likely to just kinda eat normal at this meal and not overindulge. So being well fueled and, eating enough beforehand kind of just gets rid of those cravings and overindulging, and kind of overdoing it.
Kaitlin:So I just tell people, just get it normal before events, before going out to eat, before holidays, all that, and it will significantly help out with, navigating that holiday meal. And a kind of another tip in there too is making sure you're filling up on one protein first and eating real whole foods first rather than kind of, like, all the side dishes and the treats and the desserts and and things. Because then it's very easy to fill up on those, and they're like, oh, I'm too full to even have, like, the good the good stuff, the real food. So if we can kind of flip that around, like, okay. I'm gonna eat real whole foods first, and then you have less space and room to kind of overindulge on those desserts and sweets and things.
Jen:So what about, like, an appetizers? Oftentimes, when you go to, like, a party, you'll have a lot of appetizers, which are just snacky food. So maybe that would be something to really limit and consider even skipping essentially until you're able to have, like, the main meal.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Yeah. Also yeah. Like, depending on what the appetizer is. Is it, like, like, good quality stuff, or is it kind of a bunch of filler stuff?
Kaitlin:Right. Or,
Jen:like, the and all, like, the filler processed foods. Yeah.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But if you have, like, a meat and cheese board or something, like or, you know, fruits and a veggie plate or something, like, yeah, it's good options.
Kaitlin:Yeah. But I always incur like, just eat a real whole meal instead of, like, all these snacks and grazing and and all of that stuff first. Okay. Number 3, not labeling foods as good or bad and just viewing foods as neutral. This really creates, like, an all or nothing mindset for people.
Kaitlin:And then when you and we we kinda chat about this earlier about how when you restrict or demonize the food or, you know, something's off limits, it just increases that desire or that urge for that food, and that's kind of when you you go all out on it. So, like, oh, this is my moment where I can have it, so I'm just gonna go all out, and then you restrict yourself for, you know, however long after that. So if you just kind of it's like, I can have this whenever I want. It's you know, there's no right or wrong time. I can have it whenever.
Kaitlin:It kind of, like, takes away that power over you. It's like, oh, I can have a cookie in the middle of the week. It's fine. Like, I don't need to save my cookies up and go all out on the holidays. And you're like, it it seems like it's not that big of a deal anymore, and and, really, he loses power over you when you can just view it as neutral.
Jen:Would the advice for would the advice be the same for someone who leans towards restriction versus more binge eating?
Kaitlin:That's a good question. I think so. Give me a little more on that. Like, maybe, like, an example. Or
Jen:You're talking about restriction, right, that there might be an intensity to restrict, but someone who struggles with more binge eating, that restriction is maybe not something they actually struggle with. They just struggle with binging on more usually typically ultra processed foods or really, you know, palatable foods. So I'm just curious if there'd be any difference in what you would suggest for someone who struggles with binging when they have that a lot open access to those kinds of foods.
Kaitlin:Mhmm. Yeah. Well, all I mean, restriction often leads to binging too. Right? So it's, and that kind of is going with, like, viewing foods as neutral.
Kaitlin:Mhmm. You know, if you're not restricting yourself for this food, then you're less likely to binge on it constantly. Or I always encourage people that's where, like, eating real whole foods becomes very important too. Like, have a real whole meal first before you, you know, have any of these other foods, because when we're it's it's very hard to binge on real whole foods. Like, you don't really hear people binging on meat or fruit or Broccoli.
Kaitlin:Vegetables or yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. That and so it it just it takes away that there's less space for those binging episodes to happen, when you're eating enough real whole foods.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Or
Jen:I agree. I think I would also add that what we're hinting at is when you shift your lifestyle and your relationship with food and focus on whole foods and eating well and fueling your body, typically speaking, not across the board, but it does help also reduce the urges to binge on those ultra processed foods. You literally change your taste buds when you change the way that you eat. And so a lot of times, as people do that, I see sometimes there are urges and cravings for those things while they still might be there. If that's something they struggle with, it will go down and be much more manageable because they just honestly don't desire it anymore because of the process that does happen when our taste buds change.
Jen:We learn how to be more sensitive to even sugar. Right? So because I mostly whole foods and and, you know, really I'm trying to be mindful about sugar. I can't eat a lot of sugar without feeling horrific. Like, I'll you know, I get a headache.
Jen:Like, if I really processed sugar right away, I just no. I don't feel good. So I just naturally moderate that because I know what the effects are, and then my palate's more sensitive to the sugar as well, same with, you know, intensely salty processed foods. So would you say that would be also, like, a good reminder? It's, like, just in general prepping for the holidays could be working on your lifestyle and relationship with food Yeah.
Jen:To be in a different place psychologically with it.
Kaitlin:Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And the I mean, the the more you do that, the further away those binge episodes kinda get. Right?
Kaitlin:And and just kind of the further away that life and those habits and behavior seems too.
Jen:Right. Yeah. I agree.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Number 4 is kinda obtaining for indulgences. Like, just kind of, I don't indulgence, I don't mean by, like, overdoing it and going all out, but just, like, allowing yourself to have a dessert or something rather than saying, I'm not gonna have any sweets this holiday season. I'm gonna do everything perfect and kinda depriving yourself during that time. Just, like, allow for it.
Kaitlin:Just kind of accept, like, yeah. I'm gonna allow myself to have a little something, and just do it in moderation. Because I think what a lot of times happens with people is that they there's 2 mindsets of, like, I'm going to everything's perfect. I'm not gonna indulge in anything. I'm not having any desserts, and I'm just gonna eat healthy through the whole holiday season.
Kaitlin:Or people say, well, f it. I'm just going to I'm just gonna go all out and enjoy the holidays, and I'll get back on track when the holidays are over. So it's more of like, you know, how can I navigate the holidays and still enjoy myself and still be moving in the right direction? And that's kind of the mindset and the place that we want to get to. So when you kinda you you allow for it and you plan for it, you don't feel guilty or, like, you're not making progress or you lost control or you're breaking some sort of rule that you had.
Kaitlin:And you have to understand that a little bit in moderation is not going to make or break anything. I like that. It's okay.
Jen:Yeah. Taking the middle path and taking that middle road, I think, is is helpful in in this scenario because either extreme is gonna lead you to an unhealthy place. To your point, like, the holidays could be stressful if you are determined to not indulge at all and be restrictive. It'd also take away a lot of enjoyment because, right, food is part of culture. It is part of celebration and is part of just being human.
Jen:So I think it's not a healthy way of that's a unhealthy deprivation to do that. And the other extreme too, because if you just go all out and overindulge, then that leads to all the guilt and the shame and even, like, practical consequences like weight gain and you have to January, it's like, okay. Now I have to lose the weight. So it's just very vicious cycle, I think, either way, if if you go to the extreme. So I'm all about the middle path
Kaitlin:for sure. Yep. Yeah. And, I mean, one way leads to, like, having to rely on willpower and white knuckling and everything. And then the other way leads to feeling like you are, like, always starting again or always having to get back on track.
Kaitlin:One thing that I always like to ask myself during the holidays or when I'm traveling or vacationing or whatever, I always ask myself, how do I want to feel when I get back from this trip? Do I want to feel good, like I can just break back into normal life and keep doing what I'm doing, or do I want to feel like I'm gonna need a couple days to recover and kind of, like, wash everything out and, you know, kind of have to take that few days to feel normal again or optimal again? And
Jen:Sounds like a food hangover.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Yeah. I mean yeah. Because you feel inflamed. You're lower energy.
Kaitlin:You're, you know, maybe hanging on to a little more water weight. And, you know, I've just gotten to the point. It's like, what I don't have time to feel bad for a couple days, and I don't wanna have to feel like I need to recover every time I come back from something. So it's like, alright. I'm just gonna make choices that are in alignment with how I want to feel when I get back from this thing, and that almost always leads you in the right direction.
Jen:Yep. Are you going to, mention swaps? Because if not, I'd love to chat about that.
Kaitlin:Oh, I didn't have that planned, but we certainly could talk about that.
Jen:Thinking about the middle path is something that, you know, I've done and encourage other clients to do, especially if you have food sensitivities. And, like, you want to be able to indulge and celebrate with people, but you might literally feel sick because of what food is. So I always encourage people to think about swaps and to bring those and just volunteer, especially, usually, a lot of meals are Pollock style and or just bring something. And like you said, eating before helps too. So fill yourself up with whole foods beforehand so that you don't feel like you have to deprive yourself if you really can't eat certain types of foods, but also bringing things.
Jen:You know, there's amazing brands out there now that can offer you some wonderful, also equally indulgent, but more balanced options that you don't have to walk away feeling sick or feel like you have a hangover. You still couldn't have sugar and celebrate. And, also, other people will enjoy it too because they're gonna feel better. And, hopefully, we're, like, spreading that, you know, and, like, he say, hey. Like, exposing other people to these other options.
Jen:Right? So there's brands like unreal, which is one of my favorite brands. So if you wanna get, even, like, candy, like, the they have not Costco is selling unreal. And, like, during Halloween, they had amazing chocolate peanut butter cups, but clean, like, relatively clean. Right?
Jen:You still have sugar, but you don't have all the additives and dyes and oils and seed oils and all that kind of stuff. So there's other brands out there. You can home make stuff. That's always a better option too. So Mhmm.
Jen:Making the pie, making the cake, making the muffins, making the cookies, bringing that over, even though it takes more work, you're going to feel so much better, and everyone else will also feel better rather than just buying the Costco cookies because of like, look at the label and all the additives there that's going to add to the inflammation. Because, yes, the sugar is the problem, but I think tons even more so. The hangover is about all the additives and the seed oils and the inflammation that comes from all those extra ingredients that don't need to be there. So, and then Simple Mills is another brand. That's my favorite, and they have great mixes.
Jen:If you want something convenient, That, again, is usually like an almond flour base and has just natural ingredients in there, and you just add in eggs and milk or, alternative milk, and you can make amazing brownies and cookies and muffins and cakes and bring something that's awesome for everyone, but that's going to reduce that hangover effect and allow you to still feel good about indulging and take away that guilt factor.
Kaitlin:Mhmm. Yeah. And, honestly, they probably won't even notice the difference.
Jen:They won't. Often, they break these people like, oh, this is so good. What is it? And they're shocked when they find out it's flour. There's no gluten in that or, you know, it's, you know, whatever.
Jen:It's it's kind of fun too. I see this as a fun challenge to see if I can sneak in my stuff and see people love it and, you know, give it approval.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Yeah. And I think big part 2 is, like, comfortable and okay with declining things and saying no. Yes. When there's no reason to eat something that you know is not going to make you feel well.
Kaitlin:And I think some people do it, out of, like, obligation or they don't want people to make comments like, oh, are you are you trying to be healthy or you're losing weight or, like, you know, they're they're they're going to say something about it. So sometimes people will just do it so they don't have to avoid, like, the questions and things. And I think a big piece of it too is being okay with, saying no and not having something that you don't really want to have, and or being okay with bringing your own thing. You know? If you're like, I'm just gonna eat a meal that I know is gonna make me feel good, and I'm not gonna have any, like, side effects afterwards.
Kaitlin:I think that's okay too. Mhmm.
Jen:I mean, I think we could throw alcohol in the mix with that conversation too. Kinda same thing. Right? Like, circadian dolts, can you have your glass of wine? Do that and celebrate and listen to your body.
Jen:Mindful drinking is important. And if you wanna bring a mocktail, bring alternatives that you can enjoy and celebrate with, and don't feel like you have to be pressured or guilted or that it's an obligation to drink around the holidays if that's no longer part of your lifestyle and and not working with your body and what your body's telling you.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Yeah. So just do what is best for you, and then in alignment with, like, your values and your goals and what you're trying to achieve, not what you feel obligated to do or, you know, out of the because, really, that comes from other people being uncomfortable by whatever it is that you're doing. Right? For sure.
Kaitlin:Yeah. So just do what's best for you and what you you want to be doing, not what you feel like is expected from me during the holidays.
Jen:A great message. Listen to your values and listen to your body, and you're probably gonna be on a good path doing these things.
Kaitlin:Yeah. Yeah. So the last piece I wanted to touch on is, being in control of your cravings rather than your cravings controlling you. And one of my favorite, tools in this situation I mean, this can be applied to literally anything, emotions, addictions, anything like that, and it's called ride the wave. And so if you can envision a wave, you know, it has its peak and then it falls.
Kaitlin:Same thing with our emotions, same thing with our urges, same thing with our cravings. So, you know, that that peak is that intensity, and what we typically do is make a choice and a decision when we're at that peak moment, that that peak emotion or urge or desire rather than riding the wave out or waiting 10 minutes to kind of fall back down and then making a decision from a less heightened state. So if we can, kinda ride out that craving time rather than impulsively acting on it right when we feel it, that can help too. And then it really, you know, you can kind of ask yourself, do I do I really need this, or do I just want this? Or, you know, what's going on behind this?
Kaitlin:And you can kind of yourself in that time. Take a walk, or drink some water, walk to somebody, whatever. But, typically, if you wait it out rather than impulsively acting on it, you're like, oh, I didn't I don't really need that thing anymore. I don't even want it. But it's just, like, kind of having that discipline or awareness of being able to wait things out rather than impulsively acting on things.
Jen:Yep. Sounds like delayed gratification.
Kaitlin:Yes. Exactly. Exactly. So I think, like, the key takeaway from this is just, it's not trying to, like, eliminate things, because that's not realistic, but just building a healthier relationship with things, and doing things that are in alignment with your values and support your goals, and approaching things with curiosity rather than judgment, and just knowing that indulging every once in a while is not going to ruin anything or make or break anything. One day or even a couple days of things is not going to, you know, have a significant impact on what you're trying to achieve.
Kaitlin:So also, just relax a little bit and enjoy yourself through this holiday season.
Jen:That's great advice. I love those practical tools and tips. So thank you, Caitlin, for bringing that to us today, and, hopefully, this helped you guys out. And, again, if you have more questions or wanna connect with Caitlin, please do so. You can find her information in the show notes.
Jen:And then we will be back next week for another episode related to the holidays focusing on family, difficult people, difficult relationships, and how to navigate all those tricky things during the holiday season. So we will see you guys next time. See you. Thanks for joining us on the counterculture health podcast. To support this show, please rate, review, and share with your friends and family.
Jen:If you wanna be reminded of new episodes, click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast player. You can find me, Jen, at awaken.holistic.healthand@awakeningholistichealth.com.
Kaitlin:And me, caitlin@caitlinreedwellnessandcaitlinreedwellness.com. The content of the show is for educational and informational purposes only. As always, talk to your doctor and health team. See you next time.
